23. One Girl. One Journey – Edwin concert – Barrie

Feb 13 – 2003 – Ugh, do I ever remember this. This is actually a funny story. Found it in my journal.

So, one of my favourite CD´s was from a Canadian Alternative Rock Band from Toronto, I Mother Earth – Another Spin Around the Sun. In my opinion, every song on that CD was produced and performed to perfection. If I ever could have picked a producer at the time to produce my work – it would be him – Matt DeMatteo.

So naturally when I heard he was going to be performing in Barrie, I went. I was so excited! When they went on stage, I couldn´t believe I was watching him live. It was just so surreal. I turned to my friend and told her that when I get the chance, I´m going to ask him if I could talk to him. I brought my CD. Maybe he would agree to listen and also pass it along to Matt. This was my goal that night.

Sure enough, after a while, they took a little break. The minute he stepped off that stage I went up to him and introduced myself. He was very nice. He wasn´t upset that I approached him and he stood there listening to my spiel. I asked if he would be interested in speaking with me for a few minutes. When I was finished, my heart was just pounding and I was shaking like a leaf… he calmly said sure, he´d love to chat with me and told me during the next break, we could talk for a few minutes.

I tried to sound casual and lightly said OK, great, doing everything possible to keep my voice calm – without shaking. I turned around and my friend was right there smiling. I couldn´t believe it. He agreed to talk to me. Well, I had BIG plans. BIG. I had a chance. I was so rattled, I had to get a drink to calm myself down. They went back on stage and I stood at the bar watching the show. And waited.

Well, the time came! They stopped playing and my heart started pounding again, I had a grip so tight on my CD it was cutting into my skin. As he walked down the stairs, he headed straight backstage! What the??? What about me??? I turned to my friend and we were both at a loss for words. What now? I can´t just go back there… maybe he just went back there for something. Maybe he´ll come back out. I waited. And waited. He came back out alright – right on to the stage. Well, was I ever upset and disappointed! Wow. What a jerk! Completely crushed and feeling absolutely rejected, I spun around and ordered another drink. I didn´t turn around for the rest of the night.

When the show ended, I was in the same place, still furious and just deflated. Busily whining to my friend, I felt a tap on my shoulder. Thinking it was some guy bugging me – I wasn´t in the mood to tolerate any silliness – I just turned my head to the side and said, ¨Get lost will ya?¨. My friend said, ¨Carolyn… turn around…¨. She looked weird. I turned around with a sour look on my face, just in time to see Edwin heading backstage.

Seriously. Can you believe it? I stared at my friend and just stood there, dumbfounded. You have NO idea how completely horrified I was. What did I just do? How could this have happened? I blew it. I was so excited – hopeful. You can´t imagine how completely cemented to the floor I was. Numb from shock. Well, maybe you do. Maybe something as insane as this has happened to you. I can laugh about it now – a little bit lol – but I think I beat myself up about that for a good month. I was sooo mad at myself. So depressed and disappointed that I had the chance to talk to him and possibly get my music in the hands of Matt DeMatteo, and I blew it. No words…